Monday, November 30, 2009

Anxiety

We joked all weekend about Michael's "mantuition" that Baby Franco will be arriving on Wednesday, Dec. 2 because of the full moon. 

It didn't help that I had lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions all weekend because I was doing a lot more walking and moving around than usual. 

When it comes down to it, though, I hope Baby Franco stays "in" for as long as he or she is supposed to, but I really, really hope that D-Day isn't this week! 

Back when I was competitive Dressage Queen, I often struggled with my "mental game" when I was warming up to go into the show ring. Having a sometimes-unpredictable, slightly-paranoid 1,300lb horse thundering around beneath me definitely gave me grounds to think twice about how much I liked being alive, but in general, I struggled with letting my emotions get the better of me. 

My mental game has improved since my Dressage Queen days in high school, especially as I have matured in faith and experience. 

I know that God is constantly pouring out floods of graces to help me be peaceful, calm and strong--especially right now. I absolutely believe that He does that for all of us, all the time. 

The trick for me is threefold: (a) choosing to believe that it's there, (b) humbling my heart to accept it, and (c)  forgiving myself and others in order to use it. 


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