Snow bear baby

Confessions of a new mom, part I

It's time for me to be completely honest, faithful readers. 


For lack of a more elegant description, motherhood is seriously kicking my butt. 


I believe am currently suffering from an exhausting mixture of classic Baby Blues, entirely too much holiday company, a foolish-but-gosh-darn-it real psychological need to keep my surroundings somewhat in order, and the realization that--other than changing diapers, cuddling and rudimentary nursing--I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. 


Maybe it's just my current state of exhaustion talking, but I don't feel like a "natural" at mothering at all. At least I'm not supposed to be teaching my son morals or geometry yet. 


I'm not all tiredness and disillusion, though. 


Gabriel and I had a bonding moment this morning after I gave him a bath. We were both wide awake (at the same time, which doesn't happen a lot!) and we just stared into each other's eyes for several minutes. A quiet and simple moment, but a special one. 

Chilling: UN says "heroic" China saving the planet, one baby at a time

This is chilling.

The UN seems to be working toward bringing mainstream respectability to China's policy of allowing one child per family. Chinese representatives at the Copenhagen climate change summit boasted that they have stifled 400 million births since 1979, thereby preventing 18 million tons of carbon dioxide from being released into the atmosphere.

In the words of Creative Minority Report blogger Matthew Archbold,

"Can you imagine being present at a conference where they're boasting about 400 million forced abortions and not storming out or at least slamming the door. But no, our President and the elite of the world sat on their hands or worse...even approved. 400 million?! That's not environmentalism, that's a holocaust."

Agreed, Mr. Archbold.

I should be taking a nap...part 2

I should be taking a nap, but instead I am cleaning the apartment for the seven much-loved members of Michael's immediate family who will be staying in Houston for Christmas until Sunday. (Yes, I know that I'm really cleaning the apartment for my own peace of mind.) We just finished a low-key but wonderful visit with my parents and siblings, who all left this morning. Shannon, Ryan, Rivers and Faux-Pa are all completely in love with the newest addition to the family. Gabriel was passed from one set of loving arms to another for past three days, and he was quite the happy camper for it. :)

I should be taking a nap, but instead I am posting more pictures of my adorable son. See below!

I should be taking a nap, but I still have to wrap Michael's Christmas present. And finish the laundry. And wash the onesie and blanket Gabriel peed on. And make sure Michael mails the Allstate bill.

Actually, I really should be taking a nap. So I'm going to stop using my blog as my personal delirious electronic to-do list of Things That Don't Really Need to Be Done and I'm going to take my own advice and go lay down after all.

Except that I think Gabriel is due to eat again in about fifteen minutes...God love him. :)

Rookie Dad mistake :)

My friend Trey sent me the link to this very, very funny video. It's footage of a rookie Dad trying to get his baby daughter to stop crying and go to sleep.

Thanks for the warning, Trey. I don't think Gabriel's crib is big enough for Michael to crawl into though...

I should be taking a nap...

I should be taking a nap instead of writing this. I am so, so very tired!

The sleep deprivation hit me a few nights ago.

For the first week or so of being a mom, I was perky, happy and generally on a New Mom High. I can only conclude that my body hadn't quite figured out that I wasn't going to allow it to sleep for more than two-and-a-half hours at a time.

As week two of motherhood begins, however, my body has "found me out" and has been strenuously objecting to this sleep deprivation torture method. It has manifested its anxiety and irritation in several ways.

First, I am unfortunately more irritable.

Secondly, this loves-to-be-put-together-all-the-time Southern belle wants to wear pajamas and fuzzy socks all day long. And they don't even have to match.

Third, I want to post a sign on my front door that says:
"All Who Enter Must Be Comfortable with Breastfeeding in Public (With or Without a Blanket for Modesty Since It Falls Off Half the Time) Because There's a 99% Chance That Erin Will Be Breastfeeding at Some Point During Your Visit." 

Fourth, instead of taking naps, my body has tried to beat me down by making me have irrational needs to do random house chores. (Fellow moms and wise women: Please fuss at me.) I'm talking things like needing to have the laundry room doors completely closed, the trash can bag hanging properly, and the sooty stuff on the inside of my favorite candles wiped clean.

Finally, I pray my heart out all day (and night) long.

I guess the praying part is good for me in the end.

Before mass on Sunday, I was exhausted and disheartened. Deacon Tom gave a homily that helped me collect myself though. He reminded us that God often calls us to things that seem to be or hard for us, but that we are never too small or too weak for what He is calling us to. He named Moses, Jeremiah, and Mary as examples of people who thought they were too small for God's plans.

Deacon Tom emphasized that we have to accept God's will for us with a heart like Mary, who offered her whole self as a handmaid for the Lord (Oh, how Luke 1:26 continues to stalk me!).

Now that I'm a mom, I feel a new kinship to Mary. Just like Mary, I opened my body and heart to God's plan for me: motherhood. And just like Mary, I feel too young, small and weak for the job! In the end, though, I trust that God's plan for my life--especially motherhood--will bring me greater fulfillment and happiness than I could ever have found on my own. Already, my life is incredibly blessed by anyone's standards.

So, right now I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I constantly wonder (especially during 2 a.m. feedings) how God has called me to this amazing but difficult vocation. To borrow from Carrie Underwood, however, I am letting Jesus take the wheel.

He's a keeper and other news

Referring to both my sweet baby boy and my sweet husband.

After a somewhat sleepless night, Michael woke me up to feed Gabriel this morning and then "took him off my hands" after so I could sleep in a little. While I was sleeping, Michael and Gabriel were cooking me breakfast, and when woke up, they brought me a steaming hot plate of Michael's special scrambled eggs and some breakfast sausage. Yum!

Maybe this whole being-outnumbered-by-boys thing won't be so bad. :)

* * *

In other news, Michael and I recently "discovered" an acapella group called Straight No Chaser (no, I don't know the story behind their admittedly strange band name). The group is ten men who happen to have one fabulous Christmas music CD in which they rework all of the old favorites with gorgeous harmony, humor and some other fun twists. Check them out on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28GUU1YbP_E

* * *

Also in other news, the Berryhills are coming to visit tomorrow! Gabriel will finally get to meet Faux-Pa (my dad), Uncle Ryan, Aunt Shannon and Aunt Rivers. He already met his grand mere of course. :)

So now it's time to finish Christmas shopping and gift wrapping all of their gifts. Today. I wonder if I will ever stop being a Christmas Procrastinator...

I woof you

* Note that there is not a cover on the changing pad. That is because he pooped and peed on it a few minutes before this shot was taken. :)

An Earth Mother's musings

I had a humorous passing vision of myself just now: Erin the Earth Mother.

I am writing this post after lunch (for Gabriel that is) with my baby strapped to my chest in our maya wrap, in an organic cotton onesie and SwaddleMe.

I am also multitasking right now with yet another viewing of "Pride and Prejudice." I am not generally a person who reads books or watches movies over and over again, but something about Pride and Prejudice is very soothing for me.

Gabriel's hair is sticking straight up in the back because of some static from the maya wrap. It's absolutely adorable.

I think I might be getting a little stir-crazy in this apartment. I haven't been anywhere but Trey and Betsy's and Babies R' Us since Gabriel was born. I am thinking that Family Dinner tomorrow night will be a good first outing for us.

While I have been writing this post, Gabriel worked himself into Angry Baby Mode and then returned to Semi-Sleepy-Happy Baby Mode.

When he first started crying, I tried some Mommy Cuddling and two different pacifiers for about eight minutes. When nothing worked, I put him in his vibrating bouncer to try to let him cry it out. Which he did in about three minutes.

I'm exact on the minutes because--like most moms I suspect--when your child is crying, every second hurts.:) I am excited that my mini experiment in letting Gabriel cry it out this time had good results.

You're getting very sleepy...

Happy one week birthday to Gabriel today! How the time is flying!

I feel like there's an invisible hypnotist chanting "you're getting veeeeery sleepy" into my ear all day (and all night) these days. I know, I know, "sleep when the baby sleeps" and all of that. Michael's making me work on it. :)

Well, mom is leaving tomorrow and I'm kind of freaking out.

Too bad I can't make up an excuse to ask her to stay. I'm too good of a daughter. Dad called me today and all but begged me to let Mom go home tomorrow at any cost. He told me to "hide the baby in the nearest cabbage patch" so that Mom would be able to leave. I can tell he misses her a lot and that's why I'm not planning on staging an Overdramatic New Mom Breakdown tomorrow morning to make her stay.

Wish I could though.

If only because I haven't had to cook, clean, or do dishes or laundry in five days. If only because 'll be all by myself with a person with the power to wake me up with the tiniest "mew" sound possible in the spectrum of sound.

Lord, wrap me in peace and confidence. Help me to treasure these moments of my life. Help me to let these experiences mold me a little more into the woman you created me to be.

Explosions

I didn't know that not-even-a-week-old babies could have such explosive bodily functions.

Yesterday, I decided to go for one last diaper change before heading into the living room to introduce Gabriel to some visitors. Well, our poor visitors certainly must have gotten a start when they heard me scream in horrified surprise from my bedroom. My adorable, sweet little son surprised me with a violent explosion of poop all over Mommy his pack n' play. When I put him on the bed for a moment to clean up the changing table, he proceeded to throw up on my comforter!

You would think I could learn a lesson about babies and diaper explosions quickly enough.

Not quickly enough for me to be prepared for the explosion on his changing pad today that got all over Mommy, the carpet, the Swaddle me, a blanket and his onesie.

And not quickly enough for me to avoid the immediately following firehose-like spray of urine that got all over Mommy's hair, cheek, neck, shirt and pants.

After Michael, Mom and I stopped laughing this afternoon and both me and Gabriel were all cleaned up, Mom's comment was something to the effect of a loving "you ain't seen nuthin' yet."

Maintaining a good sense of humor is a daily prayer intention these days. :-)

What's in a name? God's fingerprints, of course

Praise Jesus that Mom is here to help us at home this week! Her quiet, sweet manner fits just right into our cozy little apartment right now. While Michael and I are learning how to take care of Gabriel, Mom is taking very, very good care of us. :)

I think it's time to share the special story behind my little son's name, which also has to do with the name of this blog.

God used His special brand of Divine Persistence and one very familiar Bible verse out of Luke to both help me decide it was time to start a family and to show me the perfect name for a little boy.

* * *

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
 ²⁷ to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.
 ²⁸ And he came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee.
 ²⁹ But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this might be.
 ³⁰ And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favor with God.
 ³¹ And behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus.
 ³² He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Most High: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
 ³³ and he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
 ³⁴ And Mary said unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?
 ³⁵ And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Spirit shall come upon thee, and the power of the Most High shall overshadow thee: wherefore also the holy thing which is begotten shall be called the Son of God.
 ³⁶ And behold, Elisabeth thy kinswoman, she also hath conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that was called barren.
 ³⁷ For no word from God shall be void of power.
 ³⁸ And Mary said, Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

* * *

This past spring, God repeatedly put this passage in front of me. First during personal prayer time at a retreat, then in a reading I was asked to do at a prayer service a couple of weeks later. Finally, when Michael and I went to adoration one night to pray together, I happened to open my Bible directly to Luke 1:26.

The part of the passage that still strikes me the most is Mary's humble response to Gabriel. "Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to thy word."

The name of this blog came to me almost as soon as I decided to start it. This pregnancy has shown me how blessed it is to give all of oneself to God's perfect plan for your life.  Blogging has been a huge blessing for me this year. I had forgotten how much I loved to write. And the way this blog has re-connected me to my now far away friends and family has blessed more than I can say.

Before Michael and I headed to the hospital on Sunday night, I had a sense that there was something special I needed to do before we left. The apartment was clean and in order. The dishes and laundry were done. The bags were packed and the baby's room was ready. I was having painful contractions 5-7 minutes apart and Michael and I had already taken our official Headed to the Hospital picture.

Just as I was walking out the door, however, I suddenly knew what I wanted to do. I turned the pages of our big family bible to Luke 1:26, and left at peace.

Finally, little Gabriel was born on the eve of the feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The gospel reading for that day is (you guessed it!) Luke 1:26. Coincidence? Of course not.

So you see, God's fingerprints are all over my little son. :)

Introducing Gabriel Adam Franco

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy this past Monday, December 7, 2009. 


Gabriel Adam Franco arrived at 12:41 p.m., and weighed 6lb 5oz. He came out with soft dark hair and was 18 1/2 inches long. By all accounts (well, mine and his father's) he is the handsomest baby boy ever born. :)

I kept spontaneously bursting into happy tears on Wednesday as my little family drove home from the hospital. I am learning that it's possible to love so much that it hurts. How wonderful that God would give us the chance to experience a tiny fraction of the overwhelmingly powerful love He has for us.

Becoming a mom has given me more to think, write and pray about than I ever thought possible...

Christmas at the Franco Jr. mansion

The apartment is so cozy and festive these days!

We have all of the Christmas decorations up, and (thanks to Renuzit) the apartment smells like Apples n' Cinnamon all of the time. Well, that or something I've just baked.

Instead of third-trimester pregnancy cravings, I've had what I would term as Baking Energy Bursts. My most recent baking sessions have included a funfetti bundt cake with baby blue icing (a huge hit with our friends), pralines (which came out terrible), and homemade cutout sugar cookies with pink icing (I ate most of these).

We have a makeshift Advent wreath this Christmas: four candlestick holders we grouped into four to hold the candles. Several of our good friends have beautiful family Advent traditions, and I love the idea for my own family one day. Michael and I have been trying to do a little Advent prayer ritual every day by lighting a candle and praying together.

This Christmas is very special for Michael and me. We are experiencing this beautiful liturgical season of "waiting" in an amazing way. Especially now that we are both ready for the baby to come any day now, we are living and breathing constant emotions of excitement and anticipation.

Picture at the Perrymans

It's snowing in Houston!

Dear Baby Franco,

Dear Baby Franco, 

After our appointment with Dr. Taylor today, Daddy was disappointed to realize that he will NOT be meeting you in person today--full moon or not. (By the way, when you have babies of you own one day, you will think of the word "dilate" in a whole new way.)You are just 6 1/2 lbs or so, guesses Dr. Taylor. Mommy and Daddy both agree that you can stay in and get a little bigger if you want. You are in perfect position, with your head cushioned comfortably (for you) right on top of Mommy's bladder. Remind  me to ask you one day, but my theory is that you decided to keep your head right on top of my bladder so that you could get Mommy to waddle instead of walk: you must absolutely love the side-to-side-but-still-forward rocking motion. I guess I can't blame you much. 

We need to have a special talk about some Very Important Appointments that Mommy scheduled today.

First of all, Mommy will be getting her hair cut and highlighted on Friday afternoon. She is very excited about this. Even though I don't know if you will have any hair yet, I wanted to make sure that mine will look nice for first impressions' sake (you will be wearing a little hat most of the time once you're out in any case--so don't worry if you are bald.)

Mommy has also scheduled a spa mani/pedi for Saturday morning. All the better to have her feet and hands look half as cute as yours will.

If you don't mind, Mommy would like to look her best for you, so please don't plan on arriving before Sunday. After Sunday, it's OK if you want to arrive in the Real World a little early.

LOVE,

Mommy