Rest in Prayer

The sun hears the fields talking about effort

and the sun 

smiles, 

and whispers to

me, 

"Why don't the fields just rest, for 

I am willing to do

everything

to help them 

grow?"

Rest, my dears, in

prayer.

-St. Catherine of Siena

Of mommies and monks (CatholicMom.com version)

I always seem to run across this prayer by Thomas Merton just when I need to read it again.

I love the down-to-earth quality of it. I also love that Merton was a Trappist monk, someone whom it might be easy to assume has a little more figured out as far as where he's going in life than the average person.

 My Lord God, we have no idea where we are going. We do not see the road ahead of us. We cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do we really know ourselves, and the fact that we think that we are following your will does not mean that we are actually doing so. But we believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And we hope we have that desire in all that we are doing. We hope that we will never do anything apart from that desire. And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road though we may know nothing about it. Therefore we will trust you always though we may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. We will not fear, for you are ever with us, and you will never leave us to face our perils alone. Amen.

I’m about to celebrate both my third anniversary and my 25^th birthday. In just a few weeks, I will welcome my second child into the world. I quit my job at the beginning of the summer to stay home full time with my 19-month-old son and new baby. My husband and I also started a business this summer. And by this Christmas, we will have had no fewer than four different family members and friends live with us for various periods of time over the course of the year.

Despite the fact that my husband and I do our very best to discern God’s will for our lives, we are living so much by faith this year! We can only trust that our desire to do God’s will and our earnest and prayerful discernment of each step we take is leading us in the direction of God’s plan for our marriage and family.

My favorite line of this prayer is this: “And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road though we may know nothing about it.” This line echoes a Bible verse I keep close to my heart when anxiety at all that I have going on in my life tries to take over.

 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

We are all in the same boat with seeking God’s will within our vocations, whether we're mommies or monks.

Thought for the week: A steady spirit

"A pure, simple and steady spirit is not distracted by flitting about from one thing to another, for he does all things to the honor of God and tries in his heart to be free from all selfishness." - The Imitation of Christ, Ch. 3

Oh to be a pure, simple and steady spirit, and to not let my passions and emotions get the best of me!

This quote makes me think of the gorgeous old oak trees back "home" where I'm from in Louisiana. Talk about simple and steady. They don't even let hurricanes get them bent out of shape (usually).

Calendar fun

This is my first week trying out my new chores and activity calendar. 


I worked all last week on it and I think it's ready for its test run! I used Microsoft Outlook's calendar feature to create a comprehensive color-coded calendar to help me keep track of daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, semi-annual and yearly chores around the house. 

Who remembers to vacuum the baseboards (and when he/she does, actually does it) without a little help from a Friendly Reminder on a calendar? Not me, as my record shows! 

Before now, I have always just had a vague, nagging feeling that "It's time to dust again," or "I should really clean those blinds," or "When's the last time I vacuumed again?" I'm looking forward to having this calendar help me put some much-needed routine into cleaning my house, as well as scheduling family time, remembering special events, and maintaining regular activities for myself and the kids. 


I'll let you know how it goes! 

Thinking about babies

This is a picture of Gabriel when he was less than a week old. I can't believe I'm having another one of these in just a few weeks! 

I'm looking so forward to meeting my baby girl! :)

Of mommies and monks

I always seem to run across this prayer just when I need to read it again. I love the frankness and down-to-earth quality of it. I also love that it was written by a Trappist monk, someone whom it might be easy to assume has 'a lot figured out' as far as where he's going in life. 

It is a reminder to me that we're all in the same boat with our vocations, whether we're mommies or monks :)

My Lord God, we have no idea where we are going. We do not see the road ahead of us. We cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do We really know ourselves, and the fact that we think that we are following your will does not mean that we are actually doing so. But we believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And we hope we have that desire in all that we are doing. We hope that we will never do anything apart from that desire. And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road though we may know nothing about it. Therefore we will trust you always though we may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. We will not fear, for you are ever with us, and you will never leave us to face our perils alone. Amen.

Spiritual Thought for the Week - Holy vs. Good Enough

On one of the talks on the retreat last weekend, I heard something that has been on my heart ever since: Christ's standard is holiness; Satan's standard is mediocrity. 

I don't think that a lot of us would consider ourselves particularly lazy people. I know that I didn't. But lately, I've realized just how lazy I've been in my spiritual life for a long time.

It goes back to the idea that, if you spend some time really meditating on Christ--on who He is, what He's done, what you owe Him, what you've done for Him, and what you should do for Him--mediocrity becomes unacceptable.

And pleasing Him in every little thing that you do becomes the greatest goal and joy of your life.

How terrifically easy this is to type--and terrifically tough to put into practice.

This week, when I find myself making a decision to be or do something "good enough"--I am working on taking a second look at the purity of my intentions and the fullness of my "yes" in that moment to what God wants me to do.

The Man Likes His Cowboy Boots

For those of you who only check my blog for baby pictures (you know who you are :), here are a few from June and July. Enjoy! :)

I think Gabriel may be getting into a Cowboy Boots phase. We have a pair someone gave us that he can finally put on and walk around in, even though they are still too big for him. He wants to wear them all the time! Notice the blue Spiderman sunglasses he has on too. Too. Cute. 

Playing at the park behind our house

The big stone ball at the splash park in Hermann Park was the highlight of his day that day. Gabriel LOVES balls of any kind, including balloons, which he calls balls as well. 

Gabriel enjoyed climbing up and down on the landscaping stones more than he liked the splash park area...but that's OK. 

A pic from our miserably hot trip to the zoo with some friends. We had a very good time overall (we got to feed the giraffes $5 pieces of Romaine!), but it was so ridiculously hot that both of us were just pooped by the time we got home! This photo is indicative of how Gabriel's mom felt most of the time we were there too. 

Gabriel and Michael before Michael took down the old swings set in our backyard one afternoon this week. My husband has more energy and work ethic than anyone I have ever met. I think he had an afternoon coffee that day, which always has the effect of making him Super Productive (on top of how productive he normally is with his time, which is considerable!)

Sitting inside of a new toy my friend Shelly gave us this afternoon. This toy has one of those twisty-wire-thingies that fits on top that you roll little wooden shapes around on. Gabriel's favorite part of the toy is sitting in it though. 

The silence was golden.

This week, I have kept putting off writing about my Miles Christi silent retreat last weekend because it was such a precious, powerful experience for me. The holy priests who staffed the retreat guided us in an intense, truly challenging selection of St. Ignatius of Loyola's Spiritual Exercises. 

I like this portrayal of St. Ignatius Loyola because he seems awed, grateful and surprised as he looks toward Heaven. Three adjectives that I, too, experienced over the weekend!

I could write a year of blog posts reflecting on the meditations and personal revelations that God generously poured out on me over the course of my retreat (and I think I will end up doing just that, in one way or another). God used this retreat to correct, illuminate and inspire many of the fundamentals of my faith--especially my personal relationship with Jesus. 

My last post before the retreat, "Loving God for God's Sake," turned out to be a divine foreshadowing of a major message God had for me during the weekend. Before I left for the retreat, I was almost overwhelmed by the feeling that I was "missing" something fundamental in my faith. I didn't know how to bring a real understanding of God's mercy into my very heart and soul. 

A weekend of near-constant prayer, spiritual meditation and frequent adoration before the Blessed Sacrament--not to mention complete silence on my part--was just what God needed to show my soul just the tiniest bit of what I had been missing. 

What I like best about this retreat was that it was very spiritually challenging for me. I have been on a couple of retreats since my 'conversion' (if a Cradle Catholic like me can call it that) in college. Both of the retreats were  fruitful to a certain extent for where I was in my life, but they weren't challenging in the way that I think my particular soul has been thirsting for for a long time.

So there is my stab at writing about the wonderful retreat experience I was blessed with last weekend. I am so thankful and humbled: My God is an awesome God! 

Baby Love

We had our 32-week ultrasound this morning, and we got some gorgeous pictures of our baby girl! We are due Sept. 6. I can't wait to meet this little one...

At around 4lb, so far she is in a healthy 38th percentile range for weight. Both she and I are doing great as we move into the home stretch of the pregnancy.

"You are so beautiful, my beloved, so perfect in every part!" -Song of Songs 4:7

Loving God for God's Sake

God likes to speak to my heart when I'm in the car.

I was in our blue Honda Odyssey a few days ago, cheerfully headed to the grocery store with bright-eyed 19-month-old Gabriel heartily singing the melody of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in his car seat. It had been a lovely day so far. I sent up a silent, wholehearted prayer of thanksgiving for the day and for my life's many blessings.

But God interrupted me. Gently, kindly, firmly.

Why do you love Me? 


I had this one.


"Because you are wonderful! Because I trust Your plan for my life completely! Because I am convinced you are the way, the truth and the life--and that You will make the most of me!

"Is that all?" 


Pause. Frown.


"Because I can't get through a single day without You! Because I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful babies and great friends and a roof over my head...because you have blessed my life in so many ways!"

So you love Me because of what I have done to guide you, provide for you, and give you peace in your life. But do you also love Me for My sake? 


And the troubling thought came over me like a cloud: do I love God and praise His name for all of the right reasons--or am I missing something?

St. Bernard of Clairvaux explains that the first, or lowest, degree of love for God is when man loves God for man's sake. I think, in all honesty, I have mostly fallen into this first degree-er group.

And I think, after our conversation in my Odyssey the other day, that God wants me--and all of us--to dive more deeply into Him. Thankfully, St. Bernard goes on to explain how and why we should go further than loving God because of the good things he brings to our lives.

"We are to love God for Himself, because of a twofold reason; nothing is more reasonable, nothing more profitable. When one asks, Why should I love God? he may mean, What is lovely in God? or What shall I gain by loving God? In either case, the same sufficient cause of love exists, namely, God himself. 

And first, of His title to our love. Could any title be greater than this, that He gave Himself for us unworthy wretches? And being God, what better gift could He offer than Himself? Hence, if one seeks for God's claim upon our love here is the chiefest: Because He first loved us (1 John 4:19)." 

My prayer in the car that day ended with an image, of all things. God placed an image in my mind of Christ on the cross. And as I've thought about that image over the last few days, and as I read St. Bernard's words this evening, I am wondering if it's only in contemplating Christ on the cross that we begin to understand why God is worthy of our love.

Learning to love God as He wants and deserves to be loved--that is a tall order indeed.

I am no theologian or great spiritual writer. And I am laughing as I write this because my first instinct is to feel pretentious for attempting to think about--let alone write about--a topic that is so abstract, so rich and full of depth that it seems beyond my reach. I'm just a young suburban wife and mother.

And yet.

As I write this I am reminded that we are all called to holiness, without exception, to the degree that God has created us for it. We busy mothers and wives cannot hide for long behind caring for our families and homes. We cannot fall into the thinking that the intimate relationships the saints had with our Lord are not meant for such as us. To do so is to live in spiritual mediocrity.

I am headed on a silent retreat this weekend, and I am hoping that the silence will give God some room to elaborate on on our "conversation" this week, teaching me how to love Him for His sake, and not just my own.

Being outnumbered has its perks

I may be outnumbered by boys in my house (for two more months at least!), but they come in handy sometimes. Especially for doing hot, sweaty activities like mowing the lawn!

We put Gabriel's sunglasses on to protect his eyes from the flying grass. And because he looks adorable in them. :)

Did I mention that a pleasant byproduct of Michael working his tail off starting CrossCutt is that he is getting humongous muscles? :)

First nap without a crib

We took this little gem of a picture this afternoon. We decided this morning to convert Gabriel's crib to a toddler bed today, but we hadn't finished the project before naptime. I was a little worried that he wouldn't nap very well today sleeping on his mattress on the floor, but he went down quite happily surrounded by his purple unicorn Pillow Pal (thanks Aunt Rivers:) and his green Boppy (I'll have to wean him off the Boppy once I need it again for his sister:). 

When we checked on him two hours later, this is what we found.