Let's talk about our husbands

Let's talk about our husbands.

But let's be nice, ladies. :)

Actually, let's be more than nice.

Let's be charitable. 

Let's be forgiving. 

Let's be positive. 

Let's be encouraging.

Let's be balanced. 

No venting. No ugliness. No mockery. 

It's so easy to fall into "husband bashing" in our culture. I grew up seeing and hearing it everywhere. It is perfectly acceptable to vent to our girlfriends about how inept, or uncaring, or lazy or dense they are. Venting is encouraged. Major women's magazines tell us it's even 'healthy' to vent about our marriages instead of 'holding it all in.' 

As women, it is a natural desire of our hearts to be understood and affirmed in our relationship struggles. Marriage is tough. We all have our struggles with issues large and small. My marriage surely does.

It's not that we are supposed to keep our frustrations and hurts inside. It's not that we're supposed to act and look like we have the perfect marriage. It's not that it's never OK to ask for help or advice. 


It's that we're called to live out our commitment to our marriage in a holy way. Having balance, humility, hope and charity in word and action is how we do that. Being honest with ourselves about the purity of our intentions in speaking of our husbands is how we do that. 


I have heard the saying all of my life that, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Sometimes, saying nothing at all is the most loving and most mature thing you can do to work through a challenge in your relationship with your husband.

We have got to be bold in choosing to remember and speak of the goodness of marriage too. To speak well of our husbands even in conflict. To either have the patience, kindness, humility, charity, trust, hope, perseverance, and maturity to not say anything at all--or to force ourselves to see and speak of Christ in our husbands even when they fail. 

St. Josemaria Escriva said that striving for holiness in our everyday lives means we must "rise above an atmosphere of trivialities." In all honesty, many of the things we all sometimes get frustrated with in our marriages are the "small stuff." When it comes down to it, what challenges in your marriage are trivial in the grand scheme of eternity, and which issues are the ones that really need your attention--and your prayer?

In my own life, one thing I have tried to do for a while now is to make it a point to find times to praise my husband in conversations with others. Not in a boastful or insincere way, but in an honest, positive, appropriate-in-the-conversation way. If I have truly sought solid advice about an issue I was having in my marriage, I have tried to make sure to do it in a way that was balanced, positive, humble and as charitable as possible. Not to mention I carefully choose an appropriate person to go to for advice, whether it's a close friend or even a spiritual director.

I have not been perfect at this.

It is good to remember though, as St. Josemaria said, "the saints aren't the ones who are perfect; they are the ones who keep trying."

I hope this is Michael and I...many, many happy years from now:)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.              --1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Add that to my resume

I guess I can add 'radio show guest' to my resume now. :)

On Thursday night, a family friend called me about being a guest on Wake Up Baton Rouge, the morning show for Baton Rouge's Catholic radio station. They had heard about my blog and wanted to talk to me about young marriage and parenthood. 

It was one of those "Really, God? Me?" moments.

Wake Up Baton Rouge doesn't have a link on their website to the interview, and I'm not sure if they will end up posting one at all. If they do, I'll post it on HH of course. 

I never thought my soft-spoken Southern drawl would ever make it on the radio...but I called in for the interview from 7:30-8am on Friday morning, and had a great time.:) Michael, Gabriel and Faith stayed inside in their pajamas, listening to the interview on my laptop and periodically running over to the window and waving at me and blowing me kisses. I was outside on the patio, in my pajamas, pouring out my little young suburban wife and mother heart to four radio show hosts 200 miles away. Surreal. 

I think the best part was walking back inside and Michael telling me how proud he was of me.

You know, speaking of resumes, it's funny how the skills and accomplishments I have acquired in my short time as a wife and mother wouldn't really be considered an accomplishment by the rest of the world. Skills like...

• Meal planning, cooking and preparing three meals and two snacks per day for my family. On a budget. 
• Staying happily married to my husband of four years (this one might need to be at the top of the list, actually!)
• Breastfeeding :)
• Knowing that exact moment when Faith is ready for her morning nap, before she even starts fussing or rubbing her eyes.
• Being able to get a 2 1/2 year-old and a 9 month-old fed, (usually) bathed, and put to bed by (usually) 7:15pm. By myself. 
• Reading Gabriel's "Big Helpers" truck book with eight different accents. 

What accomplishments and skills are on your resume these days? 

Slice of (Faith's) Life: May 31, 2012

My baby girl, Faith Lucia Franco, officially started crawling on May 31, 2012.

Just wanted to mark this momentous event in Faith's life on Humble Handmaid, which (if you've ever read About Me) doubles of course as a shameless outlet for posting pictures of my kids. :)

The floodgates have opened...

A weekend with old friends and (new) Fathers

Last weekend, we attended the ordination of our friend (now) Fr. Luke Millette, right here in Houston. We had several friends travel in from out of town for the weekend, and we had such a wonderful, wonderful time with everyone!

Michael and I know Fr. Luke from camp, but as the Lord would have it, we became friends with Luke's community here in Houston after we moved here. Our very first friend here in Houston, Christine, is dear friends with Luke. I remember coming to Houston four years ago and not knowing anyone, and then meeting Christine (who worked with Michael), and finding out she was good friends with Luke, and suddenly feeling like God was gently confirming again that we were supposed to be here.

I don't know how our friend Kate did it after everything her family has had going on over the past couple of weeks, but she actually beat me to blogging about the wonderful weekend our families just spent together. Bravo, sweet friend--I don't know how you do it, except for the grace of God (which you would quickly remind be about!:)

The ordination was at the beautiful  Co-Cathedral of the Sacred Heart here in Houston. My friend Alyson joked the day before that it would be me (mother of two), her (mother of two), and Kate (mother of three) holding fussing babies in the back the entire time. That's not exactly what happened. When Michael and I and the kids arrived at the cathedral, we quickly spotted Kate and her family, ran into Alyson and her family, and suddenly I found us all marching to a front of the cathedral in a corner off to the side...with a perfect view of the altar.

And a perfect view from the altar (which was filled with dozens of clergy and an archbishop or two) to our squirming, offspring-filled corner.

I started inwardly sweating in anxiety at this point, since Gabriel has been a troll somewhat challenging this week in general, and pitched the worst temper tantrum of his life at daily mass the day before. 

But I was too chicken to grab Michael and beg him to find us a spot near the back of the church where I could suffer with Gabriel through the 2 1/2 ordination mass at least close to some kind of exit. 

So, in that front corner of the cathedral, three young families watch a dear friend enter into the holy priesthood. It was a beautiful mass, and much more beautiful to me because I had such a close view of the events at the altar, and also because Gabriel and Faith were relative angels, along with our friends' children. 

Angels relative to the fact that the ordination was 2 1/2 hours long, I guess. I did have two trips to the back with fussing children, and an exhausted-refusing-to-nap Faith cried big crocodile tears through the entire communion line. But relatively...they were wonderful. I knew the graces I received from that horrible time with Gabe at mass the day before had to go toward something. :)

I love Kate's description of our little corner that day: 

Between 3 families, there were 7 babies (3 who were nursing), about 15 books, 4 sippy cups, 2 bottles, 1 toothbrush, 2 sqeaky toys, 1 train, 1 magnadoodle, and 1 glorious container of cheerios.

OK, now for the pictures I suppose. Kate does a better job of describing the weekend anyway. :)

"Our" corner of the cathedral for the ordination. This picture is minus one mom, two dads, one baby, and one toddler.

Fr. Luke is the priest right in the middle of the two candles on the right-hand side of the picture. 

The Grifkas, Fr. Luke, the Francos, and the Dawsons

My husband's solution to keeping a crawling baby in check. Nice.

Our new friend, Justin, and David Dawson with his son Jacob. Justin is a seminarian at St. Mary's here in Houston.

Gabriel was on the move so much this weekend that this is the best shot I could get of him...

This is my friend Alyson's little boy. Gabriel would probably promise to potty train himself if we bought him a John Deere truck like this...

Faith in a crate.

Barbecueing at the Grifkas on Saturday